A Letter to In-N-Out Burger

I wrote this letter when I was in Syria a few years ago. It's pretty self explanatory. I just found it as I was going through some of my writings. Enjoy. ******************************************************************************************

Dear In-N-Out Burger,

I am currently in Syria undertaking a yearlong study of the Arabic language at the University of Damascus. I love Syrian culture, and am enjoying the amazing foods that Syria has to offer. However, as I was lounging around my apartment last week, wondering which falafel store I should hit up for lunch, my roommate walked in wearing an In-N-Out T-shirt. The groan that emanated from my body was not unlike that of a starving gorilla. Here we are, two months into this twelve-month endeavor, and we both suddenly realized that we will not be able to savor a morsel of your delicious burgers for another ten months. We both had to sit down as the gravity of this atrocity hit us like a pair of 4x4 animal style burgers.

Lying on the living room couch in the Syrian summer heat, we fantasized about your burgers for a solid hour, dreaming up tantalizing combinations of double doubles and milkshakes, and regaling ourselves with stories of our finest In-N-Out moments. I will not lie, the thought of flying home under the pretense of visiting our families but really just coming back for your burgers shifted from pleasant afternoon fantasy to us heading over to an internet café to look up tickets. The prices of airline tickets home brought us back to reality and we walked home in the 115-degree weather with our In-N-Out dreams utterly smashed.

It wouldn’t be so bad if we could get a decent burger in this country, but for all the times we’ve tried we haven’t found something that meets our burger-standard. We have resigned ourselves to the fact that we will have to wait until next June until we can partake in the glory that is the In-N-Out burger.

This leads me to the purpose of my letter. If we cannot have In-N-Out burgers in Syria, then we will make sure that upon our return to America, we shall go on an In-N-Out run for the ages. I speak not of a midnight In-N-Out run with your buddies, but of a journey. Nay, a quest, starting from Tucson, AZ and ending in San Francisco, CA where we will visit every (a lot of) In-N-Outs along the way. We will wear nothing but In-N-Out clothing, and we shall never take off our In-N-Out hats.

I end this declaration now with the undying love and hope that I have for In-N-Out.

I thank you all for your time.